she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
