he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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