Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
