i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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