she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
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