3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Randomize
