He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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