Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
