On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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