How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Randomize
