I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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