so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
