Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I lost the right to judge tonight
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
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