bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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