I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
