I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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