I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
