this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
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