the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
