Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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