I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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