my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
