Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
