wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize