They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Randomize
