I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
its not stalking. its research.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
