What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
