i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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