it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
