Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
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