just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
