Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
