Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
