the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
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