nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I think weed is turning my hair brown
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
