My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize
