At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
