her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
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