I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
