Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
