we have pet lesbian snakes
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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