Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize