think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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