so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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