Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
