I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
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