wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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