How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Green mimosas i think yes
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
