I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
