wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
