YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
