Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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