First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
