first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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