So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Randomize
