it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
