My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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