I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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