Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
