Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
