Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
