i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
