Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Randomize
