she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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