We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
