I wanna passion pit in your ass
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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