I swear she didn't look like that last week.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
