is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
