i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
