The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
