if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
