the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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