So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
