And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
