I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
