Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
