Four minutes until I can fart!
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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