i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
she looked like the before picture.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
