$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
okay pat passed out under dana's car
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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